Mon, 29 May 2017
Bill Nielsen (host of the So Many Bits podcast) may wind up taking home the prize for Best Childhood Catchphrase. It's honest to God adorable and I would never spoil it here, you'll just have to exercise some patience and hear it for yourself! Bill joined us to watch and analyze "Dateless in San Francisco", in which Danny frets over a Valentine's Day date with Claire (who we never actually seen onscreen, in a clear display of cutting production costs); Aunt Becky frets over the dimming ember that is her love life; Stephanie tries to woo a straight up WEIRD looking dude; and Michelle, having seen all of this heteronormative bullshit on clear display, uses it to justify her obsession with Teddy. It's some of the most White People Bullshit we've ever seen from this show, and that's certainly saying something. Also: Could the Fonz win in a thumb war with Uncle J? And why is Joey still allowing himself to be the subject of unwanted sexual advances? Does he like it? Does he need it? Are we blaming the victim here? Who knows! All we know is that this podcast. Is. Fabulous. XOXO |
Mon, 22 May 2017
Alyssa Davis was a wave and a hungry American child. Alyssa Davis is a fan of her manatee, Mr. Jelly Bean. Alyssa Davis will always be a member of the How Rude! family. It's all true! This week we're watching / discussing / groaning over "Air Jesse", in which Jesse feels the sting of homophobia (for once) when it's revealed he knows absolutely nothing about basketball. Ha! Imagine! A man not knowing about basketball! To be fair, he didn't give a shit about the Super Bowl, so this shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. Meanwhile, Stephanie has made Becky a blouse so hideous it's forcing her to lie like a snake. Does she feel bad about the lie? Sure. Does she care enough to do something about it? No, Becky's fine. Becky's just. Trying. To live. Her LIFE. In other news, we discuss the family appeal of Avatar; discover Alyssa and DJ are hair twins; and concoct a new musical for Patti LuPone. P.S. It's not Baba Booey. It's Baba Looey. Our apologies, Baba! XOXO |
Mon, 15 May 2017
Thomas Kelly is another proud member of the We Love Aunt Becky Fan Club. Aunt Becky is kind, smart, and a great mother. Aunt Becky is a beautiful, bodacious babe. And she deserves a hell of a lot more than the callous, petty monster that is Uncle Jesse. It's not like we needed more proof of this, per se, but "My Left and Right Foot" is more than willing to serve it up. It also makes more than a bit of time to examine Michelle's fragile psyche, a delicate glass bauble that shatters with the realization that her feet are fucking disgusting. Really, she's just like Kimmy in that way, and I think we all know how the Tanners feel about Kimmy (they hate her they hate her they hate her). We also discuss the comedian's dress code, tackle some world records, and face some personal demons, all while wondering what it would mean to take your Cat Lady to Shoney's. So don't go anywhere, true believers, because you know what they say: Egg Sell Seashore! Right? Stan Lee? We watched Guardians II this weekend. XOXO |
Mon, 8 May 2017
Chris Woolsey is pretty sure you can't waltz into a dive bar like Weeb's with a bunch of small children. He's pretty sure Aaron's father is a disgusting creep and he's pretty sure a hat that has its own HANDS is a fashion no-no. You know what we're pretty sure about? Scratch that, we're certain: Chris is a fabulous fellah and a fantastic honorary Rude Dude! This week we're discussing "Super Bowl Fun Day", in which Joey's decision to become an Official Fan of Football leads him to act like a total fucking asshole, even if it means screwing over DJ's scholarship interview with Mimi. Dear Joey: Fuck you. Also on the agenda: We bask in the glory of Derek's one liners, discover the shallow depths of a dead man's resume, and learn about the single stupidest Super Bowl halftime show in recorded history. Missing out would be a crime, so don't fucking be a criminal! XOXO |
Mon, 1 May 2017
Christine Wines adores cooking shows, celebrity news, and a neoprene beer koozie. She's totally chill and nuts-o bananas, the perfect Rude Dude to have by your side while wading through "The Producer". Yes, once again we have to watch a wretched Danny Tanner wrestle with his own ego as Becky rises through the ranks of Wake Up, San Francisco. There's way too much going on at the periphery of this episode, from DJ and Stephanie's infantile obsession with sweets to Joey's snack food crisis and Jesse's inability to discipline his kids. "Wait, how many times has this show talked about how shitty Jesse and Becky are as parents?" Like, at least six. Like, half a dozen times, there's no way it's less. Is the show spinning its wheels, desperately trying to get to the finish line? Oh, you butter your biscuits, it is. Also: Drake Bell is not dead; our branded Apes content goes horribly awry; and we learn about the truly horrifying Blue Whale challenge that's rocking Europe. Get in on it! XOXO
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