How Rude! The Full House Podcast

Johnny Kyle Cook is a fan of John Stamos' plump ass, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't top Danny Tanner in a heartbeat. Join him and your ever reliable co-hosts as they dive into "Ol' Brown Eyes", in which Danny is determined to hijack DJ's fundraiser just so he can prove he's super duper cool. Doesn't Danny understand DJ's school needs to buy a new COM-PEW-TER? Danny, you fool! Did we mention Michelle understands the concept of petty vengeance? She understands the concept of petty vengeance now. Also on the docket: Old school computer games, "homo" music, and the high concept behind 'Tiny Toon Adventures'. Strap in and get ready for that plump ass because it is a beautiful, plump ass. Split that peach! XOXO

Direct download: 78._Ol_Brown_Eyes_Final.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:27am EDT

Matt Mayerle doesn't think people would pay to have their music constantly interrupted. Brandon thinks otherwise. Jon is going to make a lot of money with Flip Foam. None of them had fun watching "Working Girl", in which DJ gets a job as some creep's Happy Helper just so she can get a pair of Blowouts. Unfortunately, her grades suffer as a result, and Kimmy's penchant for garbage forgeries isn't helping the situation. But that's not all! You're gonna get some prime Pizza Tower stories and the Gibbler Guarantee, so sit your sweet booty down and relax, kiddo. XOXO

Direct download: 77._Working_Girl_Final.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:26am EDT

Lou Leonardo related to this week's episode of 'Full House' in a way he could have never expected, and the story he tells is truly one for the ages. Join us we discuss "Happy New Year", in which poor Joey is pressured to find a date and winds up "falling in love" with the first woman who happens to enjoy rollerblading. We were running on a low laptop charge this time around, so unfortunately the episode does wrap up pretty quickly. That said, we did discuss Lou's catch phrases after recording, and they were "Yahtzee!" and "At the end of the day ..." The former was from childhood and inspired by Lou's fun-loving Italian Uncle, and the latter is an adult's way of sorting through the bullshit so as to focus on what's important. You may have troubles, you may have woes, but at the end of the day, whaddya got? Ya got great friends like Lou! This is a fantastic episode. This is a fantastic podcast! Give a us a five star review, won't you? Happy New Year 1991! XOXO

Direct download: 76._Happy_New_Year.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:26am EDT

Steven King has portrayed Jesus, lorded over his own Mother, and found himself in one of Hollywood's seedier corners after a particularly disastrous taping of 'Deal or No Deal'. We're gonna unpack all of that but today's main objective is a calm, rational discussion of "Danny in Charge", in which the Tanner patriarch totally drops the ball while Joey and Jesse are off fucking animals somewhere in the woods. It's a mash-up of forgettable plots that had us longing for the creative risks of "Secret Admirer", if that tells you anything. Thank you, Steven, for being our Rude Dude for the week, and may the Lord bless and keep you! XOXO

Direct download: 75._Danny_in_Charge.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:32am EDT

Molly Jones may be a little confused as to the chronology of the Austin Powers films but that doesn't mean we love her any less! Molly is a wonder and we were so happy to have her in the studio for this, a stirring discussion of 'Secret Admirer'. Rusty is back and he's determined to destroy the Tanner clan, this time by way of sexual confusion. But what Rusty could never predict ... is that he could fall in love in the process. Oh love, how you play with our minds! We shall learn all about Molly's lifetime infatuation with backwards caps and why Comet loves hamburgers, so kick back and relax, mate. It's time to start the show! P.S. NO AUDIO ISSUES! Oh God, I can breathe again. You have no idea how badly that was driving me (Jon) up a wall. Love you! XOXO

Direct download: 74._Secret_Admirer.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:43am EDT

Chris Johnson is an adorable Gooby who has enough catch phrases to fill a large sack. He's simply the best! Join us as we wade through the muck and mire that is "Terror in Tanner Town", a bracing look at one little boy's descent into madness. Rusty isn't here for your comedy or your pot roast or your basic as fuck love. Rusty knows what makes this world move and it's chaos, baby. Pure, unbridled chaos. We'll also learn why a magic cat who controls the cast with marionette strings would make for a better viewing experience, as well as Brandon's history with the Playmobil corporation. Strap in and hold on to your hats because this shit is gonna get fantastic! XOXO

Direct download: 73._Terror_in_Tanner_Town.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:46am EDT

FAIR WARNING: The audio for this podcast includes a large amount of crackle, due to us possibly picking up some random feedback while recording. On the plus side, it has been filtered through GarageBand's Cool Jazz Combo setting, so said crackle isn't nearly as distracting as it was upon first detection. 

Our second marathon session means the return of a beloved Rude Dude and this time around it's none other than Kristin Ramsey! Kristin may have pulled a muscle in her back but she was bound and determined to watch three crummy episodes of 'Full House' for your amusement. Those three episodes: Viva Las Vegas (in which Joey opens for Wayne Newton), Shape Up (in which DJ stops eating for three days), and One Last Kiss (in which Jesse cheats on Becky). You ready for it? You ready for Party Teddy? Let's go! XOXO

Direct download: 72._Marathon_October_Modified.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:35am EDT

SPOILER ALERT: 'Full House! The Musical Parody!' is a Goddamn delight, stuffed to the gills with deep cut references to the sitcom's history and enough raunchy material to make Jon blush (and that is certainly saying something). Hilarious performances, straight up show stopping numbers, what's not to love? Check out our group interview with co-writer and co-director Bob McSmith; Seth Blum; Marie Eife, and Meg Halcovage to find out more about their experience with the show. They're an amazing group of people and you don't wanna miss out on this, trust.

Get your tickets today by visiting fullhousethemusical.com and nab a free pair of sunglasses from Matt at the merchandise table by using #FullHousetheMusical on social media. The show runs through Saturday, December 19 (keep your fingers crossed for an extension), so make plans to see it today! We're not just saying this because we got free T-shirts, either. I mean, yes, we got free T-shirts, and the T-shirts are great, but the T-shirts didn't alter our perceptions. The show is wonderful! And those T-shirts ... those beautiful T-shirts. My God. We actually might do anything to keep these T-shirts. Don't touch our fucking T-shirts. XOXO

Direct download: 71._Full_House_The_Musical_Parody.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:46am EDT

You may think you've consumed all of your Halloween confectionary but look again! Peer into your spooky plastic pumpkin and I'm sure you'll find this, a delicious bit of podcasting for your oh so hungry ears. It's a supplemental episode this time around, which means your hosts are on their tummies once more to bring you their thoughts on an early John Stamos credit. 'Never Too Young to Die' is a fevered mash-up of the James Bond and Mad Max aesthetics, which means it makes little to no sense and features some of the worst music you're likely to find. That said, it does star Gene Simmons as a "bizarre" villain along with a thoroughly bummed George Lazenby, so there's definitely a few worthwhile elements. Wanna hear about Brandon's bachelor lifestyle? Wanna hear Jon's audition for the role of Ragnar in the forthcoming stage production of NTYTD? Then stop munching on those chocolate leftovers and start consuming a real treat!

Direct download: 70._Never_Too_Young_to_Die.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:07am EDT

Peter Kim is disgusted by parents who kiss their children on the mouth and that is just one of the many reasons why he fits right in with the Rude Dude crowd. Peter is on hand to help us dissect "A Pinch for a Pinch", in which Jesse's Mutually Assured Destruction theory of parenting leads to Michelle discovering a lust for petty violence. You cut me? I cut you. Two go in. NONE COME OUT. Speaking of coming out, Peter was a very sassy, very gay teenager who held his evangelical beliefs close to the chest, but you'll hear all about that soon enough. Peter is amazing. Start listening now! Also, stick around for a short addendum in which you'll hear all about our plans for the next episode as well as our forthcoming trip to NYC. That's right, the Rude Dudes are headed for the Big Red Apple, baby! XOXO

Direct download: 69._A_Pinch_for_a_Pinch.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:45am EDT

Liz Larrimore may have been a know-it-all as a child but she grew up to have the kind of discerning eye that can identify a douchebag. One such douchebag: Dave Coulier, who "performed" for her college freshman orientation. Liz sat down with us to discuss Mr. Coulier as well as "Good News, Bad News", another episode in which Kimmy and DJ work together and everyone else suffers as a result. On a similar note, Becky and Danny co-host a terrible TV show and no amount of rebranding is going to change that. Do you notice the audio ping-pong tick-tack? Look, we've invested in a new mic and it shouldn't be a problem in the future. Can you not spare a bit of mercy for your favorite Rude Dudes? Must you be such harsh masters, my lords? Love you! XOXO

Direct download: 68._Good_News_Bad_News.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:49am EDT

WARNING: This episode features a fair amount of hammering in the background (not a ton but a fair amount) and there's a bit of audio clickety-clack as well (but again, just a bit, so stay calm). With that said, please welcome our latest honorary Rude Dude, Carlos Luna! Aside from having a fantastic surname, Carlos is an avid fan of the sitcom and has many a theory about the world in which the characters live. Join us as we JFK the shit out of "Slumber Party", in which a bunch of horrible little girls and their mothers refuse to consider anyone who may not have a mother. Seriously, fuck the Honeybees and their bullshit mind games, some kids don't have a Mom! There's a lot of storytelling clutter on the side, including Jesse's makeover for Michelle and a boring as fuck yard sale, but we'll unpack all of that. We'll also unpack Carlos' latchkey kid status and his time as a Blockbuster thief, so strap in, kids! XOXO

Direct download: 67._Slumber_Party.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:05am EDT

This is now officially a mandate: Samantha Woodman is the second guest to bring us a treat without us asking and so from now on we are definitely asking: Will you bring us a treat when you sit down with us, future guests? We've had baklava and beer so you're gonna have to bring us something new. Something yummy or refreshing! Look, enough about our insatiable appetites for treats, we need to talk about "I.Q. Man". Can Jesse resist the allure of an older woman who wants to fuck his brains out on an oddly functional bathroom set for his latest ad campaign? Can Danny and Becky possibly make up for the glaring absence of Connie Chung? Can a sickly Stephanie escape the visceral horror of Dr. Michelle's homemade remedies? Yes. No. And no! We'll also talk about the pony business Samantha's mother runs, the joys of Garth Brooks, and why "Sammy" is not on the table. P.S. We did watch 'Grandfathered' right after this recording session and it fucking stunk. XOXO

Direct download: 66._I.Q._Man.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:47am EDT

Hope Rehak is the first honorary Rude Dude who brought us dessert (baklava) and from now on we expect dessert from all of our guests. Here are some ideas for those future guests: Donuts. Pie. Gingersnaps! Hope is also just an all around fantastic individual and we were happy to have her for "Crimes and Michelle's Demeanor", an episode that doesn't live up to the dread its title inspires, if only by so much. Look, we've been saying this for over a year now: Michelle is a horrible monster tot who has been begging for a comeuppance and now it has finally arrived. Will she accept her punishment or fly in the face of mortal man's so-called authority? No spoilers! Will Jesse and Becky declare bankruptcy after a series of asinine financial decisions? No spoilers! We can spoil one thing though, and that's Hope's past as an author of fan fiction. Hear all about it ... now!

Direct download: 65._Crimes_and_Michelles_Demeanor.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:32am EDT

Tom Fell is only two people removed from a major 'Full House' cast member and we can't decide if that's amazing, disturbing, or both. Tom is also just a hell of a guy and we were thrilled to have him by our side as we discussed "Greek Week", the S4 premiere in which everyone is tricked into marriage and Michelle's identical cousin shows Lifetime just how bad a wig can get. We'll also learn about Bob, who may or may not have found it in his heart to love Tom, and why Drake's may not be the hot spot for teens. Do you love our show? Have you expressed your love with an iTunes review? If not, maybe you never really loved us at all. Perhaps your love is nothing more than lust. We are not your smutty playthings, okay? Make an honest podcast out of us. Walk us around a table and take us home with you! XOXO

Quick Correction: 'Paris is Burning' is a time capsule of the '80s, not the '90s. That really is a fantastic documentary, so track it down on Netflix today. Also, fuck you, Madonna.

Direct download: 64._Greek_Week.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:49am EDT

When Jon and Brandon did the math and realized they'd be watching 'Full House' through February 2018 at their current pace they knew something had to be done: Pick up the Goddamn pace! With that said, please enjoy this, the first of many marathons. These babies will be coming your way around once a month, so be on the lookout for 'em! Today the boys will be covering the last four episodes of S3: Just Say No Way; Three Men and Another Baby; Fraternity Reunion, and Our Very First Telethon. That's a lot of nonsense, and your Rude Dudes couldn't have done it without their old pal, Alan Linic. Yep, another convention of these marathons is the return of former guests, so sit back, relax, and absorb the trio's musings on this extra chunky helping of sitcom tomfoolery! XOXO

P.S. The Stitcher page has been fully updated, hurray and hurrah!

Direct download: 63._Marathon.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:06am EDT

Happy Labor Day! As your annual respite from the suffocating corporate grind comes to an end, take solace in the fact that we, your beloved Rude Dudes, are here with another supplemental episode to ease your weary soul. This time around we're covering the 2004 non-hit 'New York Minute', in which the Olsen twins play complete opposites (shocker) who find their goals aren't exactly sympatico (double shocker). A bevy of respected character actors and comedians are along for the ride, proving if you want to be a success in show business you can never stop working. Ever. Some quick notes regarding the movie we didn't manage to cover: In the scene where Ashley uses a convenience store restroom there's a moment where she's walking around with a three foot long piece of toilet paper hanging out of her ass. As in it's presumably wedged between her butt cheeks. It's gross. Also, her character is a Republican, but since this is a PG film they don't bother to actually explore that. So yeah! Next week we'll be back to our version of the suffocating corporate grind ('Full House') but for now let's all just sit back, relax, and pretend everything is okay. Love ya! XOXO

Direct download: 62._New_York_Minute.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:47pm EDT

Elizabeth Kirkwood may have been the gal to go to in high school when you needed your homework done, but now she's her own woman, Quevin, and she's not gonna fall for your seductive tactics! Join us as we discuss Elizabeth's patience testing pageantry, recurring school-based nightmares, and inability to prepare a proper bindle. Oh, did we mention 'Full House'? Yes, that's what this podcast is about. Forgot for a second! This week we're covering "Honey, I Broke the House", in which little Stephanie manages to topple the Tanner empire in less than 20 seconds. She's desperate, she's harboring a secret, and she needs sanctuary. And a gun! P.S. This episode is dedicated to the memory of Cecil the Lion. Rest in peace, you great cat. XOXO

Direct download: 61._Honey_I_Broke_the_House.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:53pm EDT

Jon and Brandon are on their own as they wrestle with the humdrum monster that is 'The Unauthorized Full House Story'. Is it boring? Yes. Is it almost entirely devoid of true dramatic juice? Sure. Is it almost entirely divorced from the sitcom it's trying to talk about? Yeah! Basically! Look, we survived two hours of nonsense and a barrage of awful ads for Lifetime's programming, so you're gonna sit there, and you're gonna listen to our thoughts, and you're gonna LIKE IT. As a little bonus, we try to cast our own (bug nuts) version of this film using people from the Comedy Bang Bang stable, a project we feel would have been vastly more compelling. Pop in those 'buds! XOXO

Direct download: 60._The_Unauthorized_Full_House_Story.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:44pm EDT

Tim Lamphier may have been a demanding child when it came to hot dog prep, and sure, he may have been a little hard on ol' Nintendo, but he's grown up into a fine young man and he was a damn treat for this, the 59th episode of the podcast. "Those Better Not Be the Days" is our subject this time around, and it has a pretty central theme: Kids are the worst and they can only be tricked into expressing their gratitude. There's also the matter of how exactly the men of this show view a particular teenage girl and whether or not their fantasies could land them in Goddamn jail. Sick freaks. Meanwhile, Victoria is on the scene and she's only out for one thing: DAD MONEY. Give us a fucking five star review in the iTunes Store or we'll leave chocolate surprises on your front stoops! XOXO

Direct download: 59._Those_Better_Not_Be_the_Days.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:32pm EDT

Becca Slack may have shocked those in power with her sassy attitude and fondness for questioning authority, but that's just what we look for when scouting potential Rude Dudes. Today we're examining "Mr. Egghead", in which Joey's already muddled career takes a sharp turn into terrible children's programming. But that's not all, folks: Danny is using DJ in an attempt to get out of a $30 traffic ticket and Stephanie's impending Picture Day could prove her undoing. There's a lot going on, maybe too much, but whatever! Don't worry, we make time for Becca's Picture Day memories, as well as her Dad's love of outgoing answering machine messages. Do any of us care about the gender of a ghost we can't see so long as it's giving us the best oral sex of our lives? Will Jon provide us with an extended review of Beastly, now available on Amazon Prime, even if we didn't ask for it? Find out now! There's no way you'll discover the answer by reading this, you Bozo! XOXO

Direct download: 58._Mr._Egghead.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:59pm EDT

Cat McDonnell may have spent the majority of her childhood in the stuffy ol' land of England (where birthdays are about as celebrated as a hernia) but that didn't snuff out her joyous spirit. Said spirit is on full display for this, our 57th episode! Break out the Bobby Brown cassingle and oh so sensual bottle of catsup, because DJ is officially a teenager and everyone wants her to get laid. Everyone is dancing in this episode: Danny, Becky, Jesse, even little Michelle is getting her groove on with a particularly famous cartoon rabbit. It's fucking surreal! We're gonna learn all about Cat's first kiss and her recent encounter with a grown-up game of Spin the Bottle, so join us for the fun or see you next Tuesday. Ha-ha, just kidding, WE LOVE YOU ALL. XOXO

Direct download: 57._13_Candles.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:24pm EDT

Eddie Klinker is no stinker. He's one of the red hot stars of CIC's 'Roast Beef' and our honorary Rude Dude for the week! Come along as we take a look at "Bye Bye Birdie", in which a spoiled Michelle finally gets her comeuppance on the first day of preschool and Stephanie's obsession with DJ has dire ramifications. Also on the table: Who on the call sheet was Eddie's first source of erotic arousal? Where can we learn more about Brandon's new spin on the table? Why the fuck was "Misty's Song" released as a single in Germany? As usual, we have a lot of questions, but we only have so much time. You know what we'd appreciate? A five star review in the iTunes Store. Get on it. We love you, Eddie! XOXO

Direct download: 56._Bye_Bye_Birdie.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:08am EDT

Virginia Muller may have sneered at her older brothers' antics while practicing witchcraft in her mother's bedroom, but that doesn't make her a creep! Look, it's her prerogative, and she gonna do what she gonna do, okay? I mean for crying out loud, she chose to sit with us in a broiling studio apartment for the purposes of this week's episode, so her instincts can't be totally wonky, right? For #55 we're discussing "Lust in the Dust", in which the girls set Danny up with a "messy" dance teacher. In other news, that adorable tater tot beloved by millions is hiding your shit and she's loving every Goddamn second of your anxiety. What else do we got for ya? Dating dealbreakers, Stephanie GIFs, and one of the most confusing resumes for a guest star to date. Spoiler: There are two identical Karens in this universe, as well as two identical Connies. It's fucking bug nut nuts. Ciao, we love you!

Direct download: 55._Lust_in_the_Dust.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:35pm EDT

Mary Beth Smith is no stranger to the world of podcasts. Her show, MBSing, is fantastic and you should definitely make it part of your regular rotation. That's not a recommendation, it's a straight up demand! Have you become a subscriber? Cool. Good. Join us as we comb through "Misadventures in Babysitting", a tale of one young girl's attempt to secure her own phone line. It's also the tale of a poker game gone awry and why positive communication between lovers is bullshit. Look, it's a complex tale! Also: Clarissa, Sabrina, Touched By An Angel, C-Bear and Jamal, Girl Meets World, and Dragonball Z! Bruce Baum is back and Mike Binder's 'The Sex Monster' sounds like a miserable piece of sexist garbage. Love you! XOXO

Direct download: 54._Misadventures_in_Babysitting.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:12pm EDT

Saurabh Pande may be an incorrigible rascal but that doesn't mean he can't be an honorary Rude Dude just like everyone else. To prove it, he came to the studio and helped us examine "No More Mr. Dumb Guy", in which Jesse's ego is shattered by intellectuals operaring at a 10th grade level. Meanwhile, Danny is assaulting an oblivious patron of the arts and Michelle is using her gift of language to shut everyone right the fuck down. We'll also get to know a homeless film critic and dive once again into the resumes of former Full House guest stars, so prepare yourself for all of that! Have you snuck onto a friend's laptop and subscribed to the show via iTunes? It's a breach of trust, sure, but they'll thank you for it. THEY WILL THANK YOU.

Direct download: 53._No_More_Mr._Dumb_Guy.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:43pm EDT

Today's episode features Brandon and Jonathon and ... oh yeah, Sarah Dell'Amico! But unlike Stacey from this week's particularly disorienting chunk of Full House, Sarah is an absolute joy. Come along with us as we dive once more into the world of advertising and discover why it makes no Goddamn sense whatsoever. And hey, if you've been searching for inspiration for that Comet/Mr. Bear fuck fiction, search no more, weary traveler. Additional docket topics include cocktail wieners, the joys of a good hotel room, and why Florida probably shouldn't be your choice for young romance. It's a hoot and you'll even get to hear our sterling Roseanne impressions, so clean out your canals and get to listening right the heck now. XOXO

Direct download: 52._Joey__Stacey_and_..._Oh_Yeah_Jesse.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:12pm EDT

Boom! Rattle! Roll! Hold on to your hats and your socks, guys and gals, because this week we're discussing "Aftershocks" with the one and only Libby Schreiner! Libby is our 50th guest and honorary Rude Dude and she brings a particularly keen insight to the table. We're gonna need it if we're to diagnose poor Stephanie, who walks away from San Fran's latest tremblor like she's coming out of Vietnam. She can't take it, man! The quake is all around her, man! In other news, DJ is playing Mrs. Claus in the Christmas play (this is a Christmas episode, apparently) and she has a big honking zit on her sniffer! Poor DJ. Poor, dumb, illogical DJ. We'll also learn about Libby's fear of a very particular scientific occurrence and why everyone was talking about Cody back in junior high. It wasn't because he was popular, we'll tell ya that much. Thank you to the lovely individuals who penned our latest five star reviews in the iTunes Store. Follow their lead and write your own today! XOXO

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Direct download: 51._Aftershocks.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:02pm EDT

Lindsay Lewin joins us this week to discuss "The Greatest Birthday on Earth", in which Michelle celebrates the beginning of her third year on this miserable planet. Coincidentally, we recorded this episode on Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's birthday, and we had no Goddamn clue. So yeah, happy belated birthday, you scary witch sisters! But enough about them, what about Lindsay? Well, she's got all kinds of birthday memories on deck, including her financially debilitating love for a certain JTT. Did we mention she was a member of TLC? She was totally a member of TLC, the group you immediately bring to mind when those letters are said out loud, strung together. We promise! As always, please take a moment to pen a five star review for us in the iTunes Store and tell all of your friends about the show. #SpreadtheWord #XOXO

Direct download: 50._The_Greatest_Birthday_on_Earth.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:56pm EDT

Michael Gau is our esteemed guest this week and his enthusiasm for 'Full House' beats out anything we've seen thus far. He genuinely loves the show and has a crackerjack story about seeing Jodie Sweetin speak. Was the shirt he wore at the time a little disturbing? Sure. Perhaps even more than a little! We're tackling "Dr. Dare Rides Again" this week, in case you didn't already know. Who is Jesse in 1990? Is he Dr. Dare ... or Dr. Dairy Farm Cowboy Apron Nancy Pants? Scott Baio is on hand to lend his perspective and push our beloved Uncle to the edge. Also: Comet is back and annoying the FUCK out of poor Michelle. Additionally: Scary ladder stories, finding your true self in and out of college, and whether it's okay to own a denim jacket that sports leather sleeves. One more thing: WE LOVE YOU.

Direct download: 49._Dr._Dare_Rides_Again.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:53pm EDT

Saliha Muttalib was once the member of a sister gang. She gave it up after a pair of life altering moments and now works alone under the guise of Ghost Pussy. Look, we're gonna unpack all of that this week, but all you really have to know is "Divorce Court" provided a lot more for us to discuss than the execrable "Puppy Love". Who exactly is getting a divorce? DJ and Stephanie. Can sisters get a divorce? No. Should grown men spend their time making foolish Halloween bets and should grown women spend their time filming the results? No. No, no, a thousand and one Arabian no's. But this is how the Tanners operate and at this point we can't really be surprised. Saliha is a joy and we are so glad she came by the official Rude Dude studio. MAKE. SOME. TIME. And pen a positive review for us in the iTunes Store! It won't take but a moment. Get your fingers working, baby!

Direct download: 48._Divorce_Court.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:42pm EDT

"And They Call It Puppy Love" marks a new low for the already dire series. It's a droning black hole of television almost entirely devoid of incident. There's a dog! Jesse is studying for his driver's test! We can't boil it down any further than that. Luckily, the one and only Adal Rifai was there with us every step of the way, racing past Joey's excerable dog "impression" and an unsettling amount of familial intimacy. We learned all about Adal's first steps into comedy after being a quiet kid for years, as well as his time working for the somewhat seedy operation known as Family Video. And soon you'll learn about it too! Get those ears primed, guys and gals. Full House may have let us down but WE will never let YOU down. Rude. Dudes. Rude. Dudes! XOXO

Direct download: 47._And_They_Call_It_Puppy_Love.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:55pm EDT

Tyler Davis joined us for our 46th episode and we think that's a snap and a half! Newsflash: Joey's time in the comedy world is quickly running out and only a successful appearance on Star Search will bring him back from the brink. He has goals! He has standards! He's an idiot. He's insufferable. But hey, if you were wondering about our respective Bobe Hope impressions then THIS is the episode for YOU, baby. Also on deck: Gundam nostalgia, the nebulous rules of Pog matches, animation aspirations, and way too much insight on the little loved 'Kung Pow! Enter the Fist'. Have you taken a moment to find us in the iTunes Store and show us some love with five shiny stars? If you've been with us for some time and have yet to shower us with your shiny star love, please do so today. We'll hug ya and we'll kiss ya! XOXO

Direct download: 46._Star_Search.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:24am EDT

Well, let's just get this out in the open: I, Jon Pernisek, truly am the worst. At a certain point during this episode I completely make an ass out of myself and for that I apologize to my co-host and buddy, Brandon. I am sorry, Brandon! That said, let's focus on the positives, like this week's wonderful guest, Alison Lynch! She's here to help us discuss "Granny Tanny", a timely episode in that it focuses on Moms. Who are mothers? What are mothers? Why do we love and adore them so much, especially when they turn into fancy Grandmothers? Also, why are people kissing each other SO MUCH in this episode? Seriously, it's a new record for gross kissing. Stop it! Also: The resume of Doris Roberts, shoelace techniques, Looney Tune comparisons, and bedtime issues. It's all here! And yes, I'm still the worst. I'm worse than Charlie Brown! Aye, me. See you next week, guys and gals. XOXO

Direct download: 45._Granny_Tanny.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:04am EDT

Michael Gomez is here to aid us in our discussion of "Nerd for a Day" and that is most certainly a boom. What's happening to America's sort of favorite white family this time around? Stephanie is casually decimating the spirit of a classmate. A hug therapist is bringing Danny and Joey closer, literally if not figuratively. DJ is studying Michelle as part of some vague English assignment. Also: Harry is back. BOOM. You'll learn a lot about Michael in our interview, including his penchant for catch phrases and predilection for a particular part of the human anatomy. No, it's not the kneecap. Have you taken a moment to give us a positive iTunes review? Be a boom and do that today! XOXO

Direct download: 44._Nerd_for_a_Day.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:55am EDT

Justine Krueger comes from a weird clan and she's bringing her all for this, the 43rd episode of the podcast! Join us as we pick apart "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do (In 22 Minutes)", in which the greatest romance in television history is nearly dismantled by an age-old debate: Which is better, horsing or music? The stakes have never been lower! Sorry, I mean higher, clearly this is a big deal. Supplemental viewing: 'Look Who's Talking' and 'Fat Man and Little Boy'. One is about a sassy baby. The other is about the Manhatten Project. There's literally no way of knowing which is which. Justine, we thank you for being yet another wonderful guest on our roster. And we thank YOU, the listener, for giving us a positive review in the iTunes Store! XOXO

Direct download: 43._Breaking_Up_Is_Hard_To_Do_in_22_Minutes.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:55pm EDT

Steve Labedz just got a mani-pedi and he is more than ready to help us take down "Back to School Blues", in which DJ learns how to slut shame her fellow students in the poisonous jungle that is JUNIOR HIGH. In other news, Joey and Jesse go golfing and holy hell does it result in a whole lot of nothing. Stick around as we learn about Steve's egghead days and why Brandon's foray into television is gonna be real big. Real big, baby. Hey: Have you carved out a bit of time to leave a review in the iTunes Store? We love those sweet, sweet stars, baby. You know who gave us five stars? STEVE LABEDZ. And he's the best! Be like Steve.

Direct download: 42._Back_to_School_Blues.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:55pm EDT

Meredith Stepien may or may not be a black cat. We may never know! She may or may not be able to reach her long lost "Aunt" through this podcast. We may never know! She may or may not manage to identify the song that's in her head, but again, we may never know! Spoiler: We found out what song Meredith is talking about but you can only discover the answer by checking us out on Facebook. Look, all we know FOR SURE is she's our guest for Episode 41, in which we deconstruct the fever-pitch pacing and bizarre left turns of "Tanner's Island". Congratulations, dummies, we're officially in season three. Meredith was a joy to have in the studio (and a joy in life in general) so don't skip out on her goofy-great stories. Meow! Meow!

Direct download: 41._Tanners_Island.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:13am EDT

Who's that calling in on the teen line? Why, it's none other than Nick Delehanty, our esteemed guest for this week! Yes, we're back after a four month hiatus. If you didn't notice the hiatus it's because we've been releasing backlogged recordings on a bi-weekly basis, but no more. We are now back to a regular, weekly release schedule, so let's get cozy, shall we? Nick is here to help us discuss both parts of "Luck Be A Lady", in which Jesse is bound and determined to cinch poor Becky to his hip for life. In other news, Joey may have won $100k and we learn more about the series 'Simon and Simon' than anyone would care to know in a lifetime. If you have to ask if Nick is great then you clearly haven't met Nick. He's great! Stick around for his carnie stories and find out why children may or may not be a good idea for you. XOXO

Direct download: 40._Luck_Be_A_Lady_Parts_1_and_2.mp3
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:53pm EDT

Atra Asdou is here to call you a dickhole and call it a day. But before she calls you a dickhole and calls it a day, she's gonna help us discuss I'm There For You, Babe, in which Jesse plays the role of Atlas and finds himself bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders. Cookies, soccer practice, jingles, wedding, music, car repair, where does it end, WHERE DOES IT END? In the grave, Jesse. In the cool, calming dirt ... of the grave. Atra is also here to tell us about herself but here's something we learned after turning the microphone off: Atra's brother used to put cheese slices in sockets and then eat said cheese from said sockets. Right? Truth is always stranger than fiction, folks. Hey, why not take a moment to leave us a review in iTunes, you ungrateful goon? XOXO

Direct download: 39._Im_There_For_You_Babe.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT

Caroline Thrasher just finished some steamy Sailor Moon fan fiction and is ready to help us break down Blast From the Past, in which a woman named Patty turns up to use Joey while rebounding from a vicious divorce. Hey, remember when Joey had a girlfriend and she dressed up like Olive Oyl? What the hell was her name again? Ah well, maybe we shouldn't worry about it. Meanwhile, Danny does his taxes and Jesse is a Goddamn straight up Merlin. But that's not all! Stay tuned as Caroline dishes on magic, boys and why her current catch phrase is "Kill me." Have you left us a lovely review on iTunes or told your friends about us? Please do! XOXO

Direct download: 38._Blast_From_the_Past.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT

Brian Holden is here to help us discuss ... wait, is that Brian or Erica? Are there some straight up Mrs. Doubtfire shenanigans going on in this studio of ours? We're gonna have to get to the bottom of this, but in the meantime, let's just assume it was Brian who helped us discuss Goodbye, Mr. Bear, in which Danny's frothing enthusiasm for spring cleaning results in Stephanie losing her most prized companion. And if you think it won't take a hard turn into depression, think again. This one is SAD, folks, so break out your tissues and tuck in. Then when it's all said and done be sure to head on over to the iTunes Store and let us know what you think. Go-go-go! P.S. Do you think Erica would go out with us? She seems super hot!

Direct download: 37._Goodbye_Mr._Bear.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT

Ryan Asher may have been a chatterbox in the eyes of her teachers but here in the How Rude! forum she's just what you'd want in a guest: Fun, fanciful and fabulous. Join us as we peel back the layers of El Problema Grande de D.J., in which Danny macks on a starstruck Spanish teacher and D.J. stomps around complaining about her sorry lot in life. Aye-aye-aye, the stakes have never been higher! Ryan has a batch of great stories, some of which are delightful and others that are downright disturbing, so if you know what's good for you, you'll start listening now. Right the hell now, grunt! Oh, have you left us a review in the iTunes Store? Then get on that as well, grunt!

Direct download: 36._El_Problema_Grande_de_D.J..m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT

Mallory Bradford just got out of her cheerobics class (brought to you by Matrick Swayze and the hits of today) and is ready to shake it off with an earnest discussion of Baby Love. WARNING: This is yet another particularly gross bit of podcasting, as the sitcom forces us to consider baby romance. Full House pushes us to these extremes, people, we can't help ourselves when under its horrible spell! Anyway, Michelle falls in love and Stephanie practically has a bowel movement while watching The Wolfman. Also: Mallory is a star, despite her parent's objections, and Brandon is a weirdo. Let's dive in!

Direct download: 35._Baby_Love.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT

Amy Thompson is currently working on her audition for the Police Academy! reboot but she was nice enough to sit with us and evaluate Pal Joey, in which Danny's festering resentment leads him to literally dig up the past and inspire a dreadful flashback to the 1960s. Meanwhile, there's a new chief in town when Harry falls head over heels for that backstabbing trollop of a slattern known as DJ. Amy was a positive peach of a guest and we think you're gonna dig her interview, so don't miss a second of her SFX antics. Reviews! iTunes! Five stars! Tumblr, Facebook, you know the drill!

Direct download: 34._Pal_Joey.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT

Mark Campbell is wearing an adorable Charlie Brown sweater and consequently could not be more prepared to discuss Little Shop of Sweaters, in which a perfect storm of idiotic circumstances lands DJ and Stephanie in prison. Well, maybe. Look, crimes are Goddamn straight up perpetrated in this half hour of television and we won't stand for it, ya hear? If you're a child thief like Mark or wanna hear about the Pokemon who didn't quite make the original roster, you're gonna Goddamn dig this episode of podcasting. Goddamn dig it, baby! XOXO

Direct download: 33._Little_Shop_of_Sweaters.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT

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