How Rude! The Full House Podcast

Lauren Walker is our honorary Rude Dude for the week and she is more than a little suspicious of the "park vandal" subplot that resides within "D.J.'s Choice". And for good reason, since it really, really reeks of white suburbanite disdain. But you know what cures white suburbanite disdain? Wiping. Wiping will cool the embers of this outrage. Quick, the rags! To the slide, everyone! WE MUST WIPE! Elsewhere, D.J. is being torn between two guys who cannot stop yanking on her Goddamn arm. Nelson: Maybe use some of your money to take a gender politics class. Viper: Maybe take a break from penning garbage love songs and learn to accept a woman's clear fucking answer. Men: Maybe get it together overall. We also learn about the Golden Gate bridge, watch an insane commercial, and learn which singers you should hire if you want to win our love. It's great! 

P.S. We totally forgot to discuss this episode's "cold stinger", in which Jesse punishes Joey for destroying a hammer by stapling him to a fucking fence. Enter a mangy dog who may or may not proceed to piss on Joey / eat his ass out. Who the fuck even knows with this show anymore? XOXO

Direct download: 146._D.J.s_Choice.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:04am EST

Aasia LaShay Bullock and Jon are in agreement when it comes to Santa: He is not necessary. If you want to raise your children sans Claus, then you should do it and save yourself the trouble of spinning progressively more complicated lies. Brandon Shockney does not agree with this opinion. Brandon's grip on the joys of Santa is like that of a bear trap upon your very leg. It is unyielding. It is dangerous. And it is probably going to kill us with time. But enough about Brandon being crazy. It's Christmas time at the Tanner house once more! "Arrest Ye Merry Gentlemen" sees the Nuggets turning a sickly yellow at the very mention of old Chris Kringle, while Jesse and Michelle are finding themselves the hostage of a wildly cranky Mickey Rooney. Will anyone make it to Christmas Day alive? Doubtful! In other news, Aasia is taking us on a tour of hands free wine tech while waxing on her love for teen witches. And that movie we discuss? It's called 'The Star' and Oprah is not playing one of the animals, spoiler alert. Spoiler alert, Keegan-Michael Key is the dove, and Kelly Clarkson is playing a Goddamn HORSE. 

Did we mention how thankful we are for the 101 RATINGS in the iTunes Store? Because we're incredibly thankful and are so happy to have you as a listener. "Me?" YES, YOU. Thank you! XOXO

Direct download: 145._Arrest_Ye_Merry_Gentlemen.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:02am EST

Kip "Kippy" Reiserer has so many genuinely great / mildly disturbing stories about living the frat life you'd need at least two Late Plates to get through them at all. He's just the Rude Dude you wanna have in the room when watching / discussing "Under the Influence", in which Kimmy acts like a total asshat at her first frat party and manages to dig up a ghost from DJ's past in the process. That's right, we're finally going to learn about how Pam died. Finally. In season EIGHT. We're also going to talk about food maids, group showers, and pass out a few frat-appropriate nicknames, so if you're ready to stink it up college-style, we got ya covered. Hashtag meat muffins. Hashtag sleeper dorm. Hashtag rock chalk. Be sure to follow Kip on Twitter (@kipreiserer / @ww2facts) as well as Instagram (worldwar2historypics)!

P.S. The viciously chronic eater Kip talks about in this episode absolutely had a nickname, as verified by Kip shortly after we completed our recording. That nickname: Mad Dawg. Sounds about right!

Direct download: 144._Under_the_Influence.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:04am EST

Lisa Beasley has mastered the escalators and navigated the mall and its many splendors. She is between five and six Subway sandwiches high and was slash is a fan of Full House, so does that make her an honorary Rude Dude? Yes, of course it does, you dumb dummy. She's great! We were so happy to have her by our side as we watched and discussed "Stephanie's Wild Ride", in which Steph and Gia meet a pair of impossibly stupid high school boys and Michelle's hazily defined video game becomes an obsession for the adults in the Tanner home. We also take time to marvel at the casual viciousness of childhood slang and tell stories we would have never told our parents when we were still in our youth, so stay tuned! Never let your mind wander from this podcasting greatness for a second! XOXO

And remember, we're aiming for 100 reviews in the iTunes Store, so don't abandon us in our hour of need. Write. Those. Reviews! We're at 95!

Direct download: 143._Stephanies_Wild_Ride.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:01am EST

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