How Rude! The Full House Podcast

You may think you've consumed all of your Halloween confectionary but look again! Peer into your spooky plastic pumpkin and I'm sure you'll find this, a delicious bit of podcasting for your oh so hungry ears. It's a supplemental episode this time around, which means your hosts are on their tummies once more to bring you their thoughts on an early John Stamos credit. 'Never Too Young to Die' is a fevered mash-up of the James Bond and Mad Max aesthetics, which means it makes little to no sense and features some of the worst music you're likely to find. That said, it does star Gene Simmons as a "bizarre" villain along with a thoroughly bummed George Lazenby, so there's definitely a few worthwhile elements. Wanna hear about Brandon's bachelor lifestyle? Wanna hear Jon's audition for the role of Ragnar in the forthcoming stage production of NTYTD? Then stop munching on those chocolate leftovers and start consuming a real treat!

Direct download: 70._Never_Too_Young_to_Die.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:07am EDT

Peter Kim is disgusted by parents who kiss their children on the mouth and that is just one of the many reasons why he fits right in with the Rude Dude crowd. Peter is on hand to help us dissect "A Pinch for a Pinch", in which Jesse's Mutually Assured Destruction theory of parenting leads to Michelle discovering a lust for petty violence. You cut me? I cut you. Two go in. NONE COME OUT. Speaking of coming out, Peter was a very sassy, very gay teenager who held his evangelical beliefs close to the chest, but you'll hear all about that soon enough. Peter is amazing. Start listening now! Also, stick around for a short addendum in which you'll hear all about our plans for the next episode as well as our forthcoming trip to NYC. That's right, the Rude Dudes are headed for the Big Red Apple, baby! XOXO

Direct download: 69._A_Pinch_for_a_Pinch.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:45am EDT

Liz Larrimore may have been a know-it-all as a child but she grew up to have the kind of discerning eye that can identify a douchebag. One such douchebag: Dave Coulier, who "performed" for her college freshman orientation. Liz sat down with us to discuss Mr. Coulier as well as "Good News, Bad News", another episode in which Kimmy and DJ work together and everyone else suffers as a result. On a similar note, Becky and Danny co-host a terrible TV show and no amount of rebranding is going to change that. Do you notice the audio ping-pong tick-tack? Look, we've invested in a new mic and it shouldn't be a problem in the future. Can you not spare a bit of mercy for your favorite Rude Dudes? Must you be such harsh masters, my lords? Love you! XOXO

Direct download: 68._Good_News_Bad_News.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:49am EDT

WARNING: This episode features a fair amount of hammering in the background (not a ton but a fair amount) and there's a bit of audio clickety-clack as well (but again, just a bit, so stay calm). With that said, please welcome our latest honorary Rude Dude, Carlos Luna! Aside from having a fantastic surname, Carlos is an avid fan of the sitcom and has many a theory about the world in which the characters live. Join us as we JFK the shit out of "Slumber Party", in which a bunch of horrible little girls and their mothers refuse to consider anyone who may not have a mother. Seriously, fuck the Honeybees and their bullshit mind games, some kids don't have a Mom! There's a lot of storytelling clutter on the side, including Jesse's makeover for Michelle and a boring as fuck yard sale, but we'll unpack all of that. We'll also unpack Carlos' latchkey kid status and his time as a Blockbuster thief, so strap in, kids! XOXO

Direct download: 67._Slumber_Party.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:05am EDT

This is now officially a mandate: Samantha Woodman is the second guest to bring us a treat without us asking and so from now on we are definitely asking: Will you bring us a treat when you sit down with us, future guests? We've had baklava and beer so you're gonna have to bring us something new. Something yummy or refreshing! Look, enough about our insatiable appetites for treats, we need to talk about "I.Q. Man". Can Jesse resist the allure of an older woman who wants to fuck his brains out on an oddly functional bathroom set for his latest ad campaign? Can Danny and Becky possibly make up for the glaring absence of Connie Chung? Can a sickly Stephanie escape the visceral horror of Dr. Michelle's homemade remedies? Yes. No. And no! We'll also talk about the pony business Samantha's mother runs, the joys of Garth Brooks, and why "Sammy" is not on the table. P.S. We did watch 'Grandfathered' right after this recording session and it fucking stunk. XOXO

Direct download: 66._I.Q._Man.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:47am EDT

Hope Rehak is the first honorary Rude Dude who brought us dessert (baklava) and from now on we expect dessert from all of our guests. Here are some ideas for those future guests: Donuts. Pie. Gingersnaps! Hope is also just an all around fantastic individual and we were happy to have her for "Crimes and Michelle's Demeanor", an episode that doesn't live up to the dread its title inspires, if only by so much. Look, we've been saying this for over a year now: Michelle is a horrible monster tot who has been begging for a comeuppance and now it has finally arrived. Will she accept her punishment or fly in the face of mortal man's so-called authority? No spoilers! Will Jesse and Becky declare bankruptcy after a series of asinine financial decisions? No spoilers! We can spoil one thing though, and that's Hope's past as an author of fan fiction. Hear all about it ... now!

Direct download: 65._Crimes_and_Michelles_Demeanor.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:32am EDT

Tom Fell is only two people removed from a major 'Full House' cast member and we can't decide if that's amazing, disturbing, or both. Tom is also just a hell of a guy and we were thrilled to have him by our side as we discussed "Greek Week", the S4 premiere in which everyone is tricked into marriage and Michelle's identical cousin shows Lifetime just how bad a wig can get. We'll also learn about Bob, who may or may not have found it in his heart to love Tom, and why Drake's may not be the hot spot for teens. Do you love our show? Have you expressed your love with an iTunes review? If not, maybe you never really loved us at all. Perhaps your love is nothing more than lust. We are not your smutty playthings, okay? Make an honest podcast out of us. Walk us around a table and take us home with you! XOXO

Quick Correction: 'Paris is Burning' is a time capsule of the '80s, not the '90s. That really is a fantastic documentary, so track it down on Netflix today. Also, fuck you, Madonna.

Direct download: 64._Greek_Week.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:49am EDT

When Jon and Brandon did the math and realized they'd be watching 'Full House' through February 2018 at their current pace they knew something had to be done: Pick up the Goddamn pace! With that said, please enjoy this, the first of many marathons. These babies will be coming your way around once a month, so be on the lookout for 'em! Today the boys will be covering the last four episodes of S3: Just Say No Way; Three Men and Another Baby; Fraternity Reunion, and Our Very First Telethon. That's a lot of nonsense, and your Rude Dudes couldn't have done it without their old pal, Alan Linic. Yep, another convention of these marathons is the return of former guests, so sit back, relax, and absorb the trio's musings on this extra chunky helping of sitcom tomfoolery! XOXO

P.S. The Stitcher page has been fully updated, hurray and hurrah!

Direct download: 63._Marathon.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:06am EDT

Happy Labor Day! As your annual respite from the suffocating corporate grind comes to an end, take solace in the fact that we, your beloved Rude Dudes, are here with another supplemental episode to ease your weary soul. This time around we're covering the 2004 non-hit 'New York Minute', in which the Olsen twins play complete opposites (shocker) who find their goals aren't exactly sympatico (double shocker). A bevy of respected character actors and comedians are along for the ride, proving if you want to be a success in show business you can never stop working. Ever. Some quick notes regarding the movie we didn't manage to cover: In the scene where Ashley uses a convenience store restroom there's a moment where she's walking around with a three foot long piece of toilet paper hanging out of her ass. As in it's presumably wedged between her butt cheeks. It's gross. Also, her character is a Republican, but since this is a PG film they don't bother to actually explore that. So yeah! Next week we'll be back to our version of the suffocating corporate grind ('Full House') but for now let's all just sit back, relax, and pretend everything is okay. Love ya! XOXO

Direct download: 62._New_York_Minute.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:47pm EDT

Elizabeth Kirkwood may have been the gal to go to in high school when you needed your homework done, but now she's her own woman, Quevin, and she's not gonna fall for your seductive tactics! Join us as we discuss Elizabeth's patience testing pageantry, recurring school-based nightmares, and inability to prepare a proper bindle. Oh, did we mention 'Full House'? Yes, that's what this podcast is about. Forgot for a second! This week we're covering "Honey, I Broke the House", in which little Stephanie manages to topple the Tanner empire in less than 20 seconds. She's desperate, she's harboring a secret, and she needs sanctuary. And a gun! P.S. This episode is dedicated to the memory of Cecil the Lion. Rest in peace, you great cat. XOXO

Direct download: 61._Honey_I_Broke_the_House.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:53pm EDT