How Rude! The Full House Podcast

Hope Rehak is the first honorary Rude Dude who brought us dessert (baklava) and from now on we expect dessert from all of our guests. Here are some ideas for those future guests: Donuts. Pie. Gingersnaps! Hope is also just an all around fantastic individual and we were happy to have her for "Crimes and Michelle's Demeanor", an episode that doesn't live up to the dread its title inspires, if only by so much. Look, we've been saying this for over a year now: Michelle is a horrible monster tot who has been begging for a comeuppance and now it has finally arrived. Will she accept her punishment or fly in the face of mortal man's so-called authority? No spoilers! Will Jesse and Becky declare bankruptcy after a series of asinine financial decisions? No spoilers! We can spoil one thing though, and that's Hope's past as an author of fan fiction. Hear all about it ... now!

Direct download: 65._Crimes_and_Michelles_Demeanor.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:32am EDT

Tom Fell is only two people removed from a major 'Full House' cast member and we can't decide if that's amazing, disturbing, or both. Tom is also just a hell of a guy and we were thrilled to have him by our side as we discussed "Greek Week", the S4 premiere in which everyone is tricked into marriage and Michelle's identical cousin shows Lifetime just how bad a wig can get. We'll also learn about Bob, who may or may not have found it in his heart to love Tom, and why Drake's may not be the hot spot for teens. Do you love our show? Have you expressed your love with an iTunes review? If not, maybe you never really loved us at all. Perhaps your love is nothing more than lust. We are not your smutty playthings, okay? Make an honest podcast out of us. Walk us around a table and take us home with you! XOXO

Quick Correction: 'Paris is Burning' is a time capsule of the '80s, not the '90s. That really is a fantastic documentary, so track it down on Netflix today. Also, fuck you, Madonna.

Direct download: 64._Greek_Week.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:49am EDT

When Jon and Brandon did the math and realized they'd be watching 'Full House' through February 2018 at their current pace they knew something had to be done: Pick up the Goddamn pace! With that said, please enjoy this, the first of many marathons. These babies will be coming your way around once a month, so be on the lookout for 'em! Today the boys will be covering the last four episodes of S3: Just Say No Way; Three Men and Another Baby; Fraternity Reunion, and Our Very First Telethon. That's a lot of nonsense, and your Rude Dudes couldn't have done it without their old pal, Alan Linic. Yep, another convention of these marathons is the return of former guests, so sit back, relax, and absorb the trio's musings on this extra chunky helping of sitcom tomfoolery! XOXO

P.S. The Stitcher page has been fully updated, hurray and hurrah!

Direct download: 63._Marathon.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:06am EDT

Happy Labor Day! As your annual respite from the suffocating corporate grind comes to an end, take solace in the fact that we, your beloved Rude Dudes, are here with another supplemental episode to ease your weary soul. This time around we're covering the 2004 non-hit 'New York Minute', in which the Olsen twins play complete opposites (shocker) who find their goals aren't exactly sympatico (double shocker). A bevy of respected character actors and comedians are along for the ride, proving if you want to be a success in show business you can never stop working. Ever. Some quick notes regarding the movie we didn't manage to cover: In the scene where Ashley uses a convenience store restroom there's a moment where she's walking around with a three foot long piece of toilet paper hanging out of her ass. As in it's presumably wedged between her butt cheeks. It's gross. Also, her character is a Republican, but since this is a PG film they don't bother to actually explore that. So yeah! Next week we'll be back to our version of the suffocating corporate grind ('Full House') but for now let's all just sit back, relax, and pretend everything is okay. Love ya! XOXO

Direct download: 62._New_York_Minute.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:47pm EDT

Elizabeth Kirkwood may have been the gal to go to in high school when you needed your homework done, but now she's her own woman, Quevin, and she's not gonna fall for your seductive tactics! Join us as we discuss Elizabeth's patience testing pageantry, recurring school-based nightmares, and inability to prepare a proper bindle. Oh, did we mention 'Full House'? Yes, that's what this podcast is about. Forgot for a second! This week we're covering "Honey, I Broke the House", in which little Stephanie manages to topple the Tanner empire in less than 20 seconds. She's desperate, she's harboring a secret, and she needs sanctuary. And a gun! P.S. This episode is dedicated to the memory of Cecil the Lion. Rest in peace, you great cat. XOXO

Direct download: 61._Honey_I_Broke_the_House.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:53pm EDT

Jon and Brandon are on their own as they wrestle with the humdrum monster that is 'The Unauthorized Full House Story'. Is it boring? Yes. Is it almost entirely devoid of true dramatic juice? Sure. Is it almost entirely divorced from the sitcom it's trying to talk about? Yeah! Basically! Look, we survived two hours of nonsense and a barrage of awful ads for Lifetime's programming, so you're gonna sit there, and you're gonna listen to our thoughts, and you're gonna LIKE IT. As a little bonus, we try to cast our own (bug nuts) version of this film using people from the Comedy Bang Bang stable, a project we feel would have been vastly more compelling. Pop in those 'buds! XOXO

Direct download: 60._The_Unauthorized_Full_House_Story.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:44pm EDT

Tim Lamphier may have been a demanding child when it came to hot dog prep, and sure, he may have been a little hard on ol' Nintendo, but he's grown up into a fine young man and he was a damn treat for this, the 59th episode of the podcast. "Those Better Not Be the Days" is our subject this time around, and it has a pretty central theme: Kids are the worst and they can only be tricked into expressing their gratitude. There's also the matter of how exactly the men of this show view a particular teenage girl and whether or not their fantasies could land them in Goddamn jail. Sick freaks. Meanwhile, Victoria is on the scene and she's only out for one thing: DAD MONEY. Give us a fucking five star review in the iTunes Store or we'll leave chocolate surprises on your front stoops! XOXO

Direct download: 59._Those_Better_Not_Be_the_Days.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:32pm EDT

Becca Slack may have shocked those in power with her sassy attitude and fondness for questioning authority, but that's just what we look for when scouting potential Rude Dudes. Today we're examining "Mr. Egghead", in which Joey's already muddled career takes a sharp turn into terrible children's programming. But that's not all, folks: Danny is using DJ in an attempt to get out of a $30 traffic ticket and Stephanie's impending Picture Day could prove her undoing. There's a lot going on, maybe too much, but whatever! Don't worry, we make time for Becca's Picture Day memories, as well as her Dad's love of outgoing answering machine messages. Do any of us care about the gender of a ghost we can't see so long as it's giving us the best oral sex of our lives? Will Jon provide us with an extended review of Beastly, now available on Amazon Prime, even if we didn't ask for it? Find out now! There's no way you'll discover the answer by reading this, you Bozo! XOXO

Direct download: 58._Mr._Egghead.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 10:59pm EDT

Cat McDonnell may have spent the majority of her childhood in the stuffy ol' land of England (where birthdays are about as celebrated as a hernia) but that didn't snuff out her joyous spirit. Said spirit is on full display for this, our 57th episode! Break out the Bobby Brown cassingle and oh so sensual bottle of catsup, because DJ is officially a teenager and everyone wants her to get laid. Everyone is dancing in this episode: Danny, Becky, Jesse, even little Michelle is getting her groove on with a particularly famous cartoon rabbit. It's fucking surreal! We're gonna learn all about Cat's first kiss and her recent encounter with a grown-up game of Spin the Bottle, so join us for the fun or see you next Tuesday. Ha-ha, just kidding, WE LOVE YOU ALL. XOXO

Direct download: 57._13_Candles.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 11:24pm EDT

Eddie Klinker is no stinker. He's one of the red hot stars of CIC's 'Roast Beef' and our honorary Rude Dude for the week! Come along as we take a look at "Bye Bye Birdie", in which a spoiled Michelle finally gets her comeuppance on the first day of preschool and Stephanie's obsession with DJ has dire ramifications. Also on the table: Who on the call sheet was Eddie's first source of erotic arousal? Where can we learn more about Brandon's new spin on the table? Why the fuck was "Misty's Song" released as a single in Germany? As usual, we have a lot of questions, but we only have so much time. You know what we'd appreciate? A five star review in the iTunes Store. Get on it. We love you, Eddie! XOXO

Direct download: 56._Bye_Bye_Birdie.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 12:08am EDT