How Rude! The Full House Podcast (comedy)

Rosie Moan may have a case of the sniffle phlegm-flams but that did not stop her from meeting us at 9:30 in the morning to watch "The Not-So-Great Escape" and "Mad Max". What do you do when you're sick, huh? I bet you don't do jack all! Kidding, love you, never leave, never leave. In "Escape" ol' Ramona is looking for a way out of her new life, Stephanie can't pay for overpriced coffee, and Max finally picks his puppy. In "Mad Max" the titular boy with a passion for pizzaz freaks out when Aunt Stephanie flies off to play Coachella before his big trumpet recital. Care to learn Stephanie's HORRIBLE SECRET? Then watch the show before listening to our podcast, dummy, because here it be nothing but a vast sea of endless spoiler-fives. Spoiler-five, up top! XOXO

Direct download: 90._Escape_and_Mad_Max.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:01am EDT

Amber Linde is a major fan of the Holy Trinity: Full House, Saved by the Bell, and California Dreams. So when she tells you she's a fan of the '90s sitcom you can tank that assertion to the bank. Take it. To the bank! Amber joins us as we fully commit to 'Fuller House' and its oh so modern family antics. That's right, we won't be returning to the original show and its 5th season until we're done covering what Netflix has to offer, so stream along with us, ya nuts. In 'Moving Day' DJ faces the classic conundrum of just where the fuck everyone's gonna live in this Goddamn house. In 'Funner House', the gals paint the town red and cross paths with Fernando, a pair of primetime primed fraternal twins, and a hopelessly lost Macy Gray. We also make time for VHS compilations, factory kids, and Slimer-Grinch jizz, so get to listening! XOXO

Direct download: 89._Moving_Day__Funner_House.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:07am EDT

Elizabeth Kirkwood is BACK for what is easily the slap-happiest podcast we have ever recorded. We're wrapping up season four of the original sitcom, which means we tackle 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun', 'The Graduates', and 'Rock the Cradle'. The first episode sees DJ manipulating her cool Aunt Becky so she can lock lips with a boy named Ryan. The second sees Michelle graduating from preschool while Danny tries to fuck a college student (seriously). The third sees Becky getting Eggo Preggo! I know, right, who could have seen it coming? WHO COULD HAVE SEEN IT? Next week we'll return to 'Fuller House', so if you were wondering about that, stop! Our thanks go out once again to Kirkwood, who in this hour shares stories of the wretched Ms. Bird and how she used her charm to manipulate friends. It's nutty, it's zany, and we talk about the Squatty Potty for quite some time. Enjoy! XOXO

Direct download: 88._Marathon_Kirkwood.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:02am EDT

How Rude! is LIVE with returning guests Eunji Kim, Eddie Klinker, and Kristin Ramsey! We had a blast talking about the premiere episode of 'Fuller House', in which DJ scams her way into a free house and co-parents in the form of Stephanie and Kimmy. New characters include the kids (Max, Jackson, Ramona) and Kimmy's wildly gay ex-husband, Fernando. It's ridiculous, it's emotionally manipulative, and our guests basically loved it. 

An enormous amount of gratitude goes out to Zach Sigelko and everyone at the Lincoln Loft for welcoming us with open arms. We couldn't have pulled this off without Zach's help and if at any point he wants to cash in those chips for hugs and kisses we'll have them at the ready. Thanks must also go out to everyone in the audience. We're so happy you were there with us! This show is the worst! XOXO

Direct download: 87._How_Rude_Live.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:02am EDT

Jon and Brandon are full of pizza and on their tummies, which can only mean one thing: It's a supplemental episode!

This time around we're discussing the 2011 film 'Beastly', a lukewarm distillation of the classic fairy tale that utterly fails to deliver its "substance over appearance" message. On the plus side, it does feature Mary-Kate Olsen as a straight up bug nutty witch, and they make room for a "blink or you'll miss it" White Castle promotion that left us reeling. Get your nasty ass sliders out of my young adult adaptation! Remember, our live event is this coming Saturday, 2/27 at 7:30 PM at the Lincoln Loft (3036 N. Lincoln Ave). Admission is free and we're discussing the first two episodes of 'Fuller House', so please come and have a great time with us!

Bonus thought about 'Beastly' we forgot to mention: Early on in the film Kyle is praised by a teacher for his essay on Tony Kushner's 'Angels in America'. Kyle returns the compliment by saying he couldn't have done it without the teacher's help. The twist? Kyle doesn't actually like his teacher at all! I only bring this up because the actor they cast as the teacher is clearly meant to be effeminate and the nod to 'Angels' makes the moment seem all the more coded. What is going on between Kyle and this teacher? Makes ya think!

Direct download: 86._BONUS__Beastly.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:35am EDT

Tony Springs is a dancer and choreographer by trade, which means he has a lot to say about the Laker Girls' appearance in "Joey Goes Hollywood". He'll also take time to explain the flimsy premise behind his childhood nickname and why his middle school was basically the Thunderdome. Meanwhile, little Jon is screaming about apples and Bully Brandon is passing out some signature Back Attacks. Did we watch 'Full House' this week? OF COURSE WE DID. "Joey Goes Hollywood" is all about Joey being cast in a pilot that, if it existed in the real world, would only have been produced as a favor to the mob. On the sidelines: Stephanie is pulling a 'Bob's Burgers' Tina/Dina scheme and Michelle is making long distance calls to Tokyo. So dumb, so exhausting.

LIVE EVENT! Saturday, February 27 at 7:30 PM at the Lincoln Loft (3036 N. Lincoln Ave) in Chicago. Get your butt there, it's free! The Facebook page for this event is now live so please RSVP and tell all your chums about it. We wanna see lots of friendly faces there, surf dudes and surf dudettes! XOXO

Direct download: 85._Joey_Goes_Hollywood.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:17am EDT

Shantira Jackson already knows how she feels about your crown molding and chances are it's not in the best of shape. She's the daughter of a master carpenter: SHE KNOWS. We were so happy to have Shantira as an honorary Rude Dude this week as dove into "Stephanie Plays the Field", which (hand to God) makes Stephanie choose between self-respect and TRUE LOVE. Off the field, Michelle is determined to prevent the conception of more children who might upstage her. You think you're primed to fuck? You ain't primed for shit. Also: The insane history of Barry Manilow, professional jingle writer; Shantira's history of watching 'Premium Blend' in her band uniform, and Jon's history of making super uncomfortable observations about how children grow. Jon: Stop talking about how children grow, you fucking creep.

Don't forget: Our first live event is set for Saturday, 2/27 at 7:30 at the Lincoln Loft (3036 N Lincoln Ave). We're screening the first two episodes of 'Fuller House' and welcoming back four of our favorite guests, and it's fucking FREE. See you there! XOXO

Direct download: 84._Stephanie_Plays_the_Field_Final.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:55am EDT

James Bumanglag may have had most of his childhood obscured by a blanket but by gum he's 27 now and he can visit any bridge that strikes his fancy. Ya hear that, MOTHER? Any bridge he fancies! James is our honorary Rude Dude for the week and together we deconstructed "The Hole-in-the-Wall Gang". What happens in this one? Well, there's a hole. DJ and Stephanie make the hole. And Michelle is forced to watch the hole. Then the hole goes away. No more hole! The end. Spoiler: James essentially loved every second of it. Question: Does Brandon actually know anything about Peter Lorre? Question: Does the top begin to fall at the end of 'Inception'? Question: Should we be like Mark Zuckerberg and Doug Funnie the hell out of our closets? ONLY YOU CAN COME TO YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS.

Don't forget about our upcoming live event! Saturday, February 27 at 7:30 PM at the Lincoln Loft, located at 3036 N. Lincoln Ave in glorious Chicago. Join your co-hosts and a panel of returning guests as we watch and discuss the first two episodes of 'Fuller House'. Is it free? Yes! It's free! XOXO

Direct download: 83._The_Hole_in_the_Wall_Gang.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:27am EDT

Marla Depew knew how to see through Big Fashion when she was knee-high to a grasshopper. As an adult, she knows what it means to make adult decisions, and adult decisions don't take into account the fleeting whims of a toddler. Becky and Jesse may wanna take a tip from this week's guest as they wade through the events of "Fuller House", in which Michelle throws a salty-eyed tantrum and Stephanie doesn't know fuck all about fractions. Also in this episode: Jon divulges his teen browser history, Brandon once again holds his "only child" status above everyone else, and Marla relates how Wayne's World almost absorbed her personality. It's a damn delight! Be sure to jot down all the live event details laid out at the top of this one, folks. We want you there! XOXO

Direct download: 82._Fuller_House_FINAL.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 9:26am EDT

LIVE SHOW DETAILS: How Rude! is taping its first live session at The Lincoln Loft (3036 North Lincoln Avenue) on Saturday, February 27 at 7:30 PM. The event is free to attend so come celebrate your favorite podcast as we watch the first two episodes of 'Fuller House'. We'll be joined by special guests from podcasts past and it's gonna be great!

Fred Pelzer knows all about what it means to get married. Picking out suits, select the best venue, locking down the all important cake ... he's seen it all! So who better than him to help us dissect both parts of "The Wedding"? If you think you have a candidate, shut your filthy mouth. Join us as we sift through the tiresome antics of Jesse and Becky's big day, which includes no less than a tomato truck, an angry ginger, and a black choir used as fucking props. It's ... the worst. Also: Howie's back and he's DTP. Did you read about our live event above? Read about it again and get your ass to The Lincoln Loft that Saturday. It's gonna be, as we said above, great! XOXO

Direct download: 81._The_Wedding_Parts_1_and_2_FINAL.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:25am EDT