How Rude! The Full House Podcast (comedy)

Thomas Kelly is another proud member of the We Love Aunt Becky Fan Club. Aunt Becky is kind, smart, and a great mother. Aunt Becky is a beautiful, bodacious babe. And she deserves a hell of a lot more than the callous, petty monster that is Uncle Jesse. It's not like we needed more proof of this, per se, but "My Left and Right Foot" is more than willing to serve it up. It also makes more than a bit of time to examine Michelle's fragile psyche, a delicate glass bauble that shatters with the realization that her feet are fucking disgusting. Really, she's just like Kimmy in that way, and I think we all know how the Tanners feel about Kimmy (they hate her they hate her they hate her). We also discuss the comedian's dress code, tackle some world records, and face some personal demons, all while wondering what it would mean to take your Cat Lady to Shoney's. So don't go anywhere, true believers, because you know what they say: Egg Sell Seashore! Right? Stan Lee? We watched Guardians II this weekend. XOXO

Direct download: 149._My_Left_and_Right_Foot.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:44am EDT

Chris Woolsey is pretty sure you can't waltz into a dive bar like Weeb's with a bunch of small children. He's pretty sure Aaron's father is a disgusting creep and he's pretty sure a hat that has its own HANDS is a fashion no-no. You know what we're pretty sure about? Scratch that, we're certain: Chris is a fabulous fellah and a fantastic honorary Rude Dude! This week we're discussing "Super Bowl Fun Day", in which Joey's decision to become an Official Fan of Football leads him to act like a total fucking asshole, even if it means screwing over DJ's scholarship interview with Mimi. Dear Joey: Fuck you. Also on the agenda: We bask in the glory of Derek's one liners, discover the shallow depths of a dead man's resume, and learn about the single stupidest Super Bowl halftime show in recorded history. Missing out would be a crime, so don't fucking be a criminal! XOXO

Direct download: 148._Super_Bowl_Fun_Day.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:01am EDT

Christine Wines adores cooking shows, celebrity news, and a neoprene beer koozie. She's totally chill and nuts-o bananas, the perfect Rude Dude to have by your side while wading through "The Producer". Yes, once again we have to watch a wretched Danny Tanner wrestle with his own ego as Becky rises through the ranks of Wake Up, San Francisco. There's way too much going on at the periphery of this episode, from DJ and Stephanie's infantile obsession with sweets to Joey's snack food crisis and Jesse's inability to discipline his kids. "Wait, how many times has this show talked about how shitty Jesse and Becky are as parents?" Like, at least six. Like, half a dozen times, there's no way it's less. Is the show spinning its wheels, desperately trying to get to the finish line? Oh, you butter your biscuits, it is. Also: Drake Bell is not dead; our branded Apes content goes horribly awry; and we learn about the truly horrifying Blue Whale challenge that's rocking Europe. Get in on it! XOXO

 

Direct download: 147._The_Producer.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:53am EDT

Lauren Walker is our honorary Rude Dude for the week and she is more than a little suspicious of the "park vandal" subplot that resides within "D.J.'s Choice". And for good reason, since it really, really reeks of white suburbanite disdain. But you know what cures white suburbanite disdain? Wiping. Wiping will cool the embers of this outrage. Quick, the rags! To the slide, everyone! WE MUST WIPE! Elsewhere, D.J. is being torn between two guys who cannot stop yanking on her Goddamn arm. Nelson: Maybe use some of your money to take a gender politics class. Viper: Maybe take a break from penning garbage love songs and learn to accept a woman's clear fucking answer. Men: Maybe get it together overall. We also learn about the Golden Gate bridge, watch an insane commercial, and learn which singers you should hire if you want to win our love. It's great! 

P.S. We totally forgot to discuss this episode's "cold stinger", in which Jesse punishes Joey for destroying a hammer by stapling him to a fucking fence. Enter a mangy dog who may or may not proceed to piss on Joey / eat his ass out. Who the fuck even knows with this show anymore? XOXO

Direct download: 146._D.J.s_Choice.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:04am EDT

Aasia LaShay Bullock and Jon are in agreement when it comes to Santa: He is not necessary. If you want to raise your children sans Claus, then you should do it and save yourself the trouble of spinning progressively more complicated lies. Brandon Shockney does not agree with this opinion. Brandon's grip on the joys of Santa is like that of a bear trap upon your very leg. It is unyielding. It is dangerous. And it is probably going to kill us with time. But enough about Brandon being crazy. It's Christmas time at the Tanner house once more! "Arrest Ye Merry Gentlemen" sees the Nuggets turning a sickly yellow at the very mention of old Chris Kringle, while Jesse and Michelle are finding themselves the hostage of a wildly cranky Mickey Rooney. Will anyone make it to Christmas Day alive? Doubtful! In other news, Aasia is taking us on a tour of hands free wine tech while waxing on her love for teen witches. And that movie we discuss? It's called 'The Star' and Oprah is not playing one of the animals, spoiler alert. Spoiler alert, Keegan-Michael Key is the dove, and Kelly Clarkson is playing a Goddamn HORSE. 

Did we mention how thankful we are for the 101 RATINGS in the iTunes Store? Because we're incredibly thankful and are so happy to have you as a listener. "Me?" YES, YOU. Thank you! XOXO

Direct download: 145._Arrest_Ye_Merry_Gentlemen.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:02am EDT

Kip "Kippy" Reiserer has so many genuinely great / mildly disturbing stories about living the frat life you'd need at least two Late Plates to get through them at all. He's just the Rude Dude you wanna have in the room when watching / discussing "Under the Influence", in which Kimmy acts like a total asshat at her first frat party and manages to dig up a ghost from DJ's past in the process. That's right, we're finally going to learn about how Pam died. Finally. In season EIGHT. We're also going to talk about food maids, group showers, and pass out a few frat-appropriate nicknames, so if you're ready to stink it up college-style, we got ya covered. Hashtag meat muffins. Hashtag sleeper dorm. Hashtag rock chalk. Be sure to follow Kip on Twitter (@kipreiserer / @ww2facts) as well as Instagram (worldwar2historypics)!

P.S. The viciously chronic eater Kip talks about in this episode absolutely had a nickname, as verified by Kip shortly after we completed our recording. That nickname: Mad Dawg. Sounds about right!

Direct download: 144._Under_the_Influence.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:04am EDT

Lisa Beasley has mastered the escalators and navigated the mall and its many splendors. She is between five and six Subway sandwiches high and was slash is a fan of Full House, so does that make her an honorary Rude Dude? Yes, of course it does, you dumb dummy. She's great! We were so happy to have her by our side as we watched and discussed "Stephanie's Wild Ride", in which Steph and Gia meet a pair of impossibly stupid high school boys and Michelle's hazily defined video game becomes an obsession for the adults in the Tanner home. We also take time to marvel at the casual viciousness of childhood slang and tell stories we would have never told our parents when we were still in our youth, so stay tuned! Never let your mind wander from this podcasting greatness for a second! XOXO

And remember, we're aiming for 100 reviews in the iTunes Store, so don't abandon us in our hour of need. Write. Those. Reviews! We're at 95!

Direct download: 143._Stephanies_Wild_Ride.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:01am EDT

Take a peek at our forthcoming podcast venture with this special pilot recording! We tackle the last week in movie trailer releases and rate them according to a scientific system: Stub It, which means we'd pay to watch it on the big screen; Stream It, which means we'd be willing to rent or check it out via Netflix or a similar service; or Skip It, which means we're likely never going to see it in our lifetime. What do we cover in this session? Check it out:

The Boss Baby / The Last Face / Black Butterfly / My Cousin Rachel / Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie / Baywatch / Wish Upon / Churchill / Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri / Queen of the Desert / Justice League

Stick around as we pick our Best of the Week and journey into The Vault to watch a trailer from the not so distant past.

Wanna hop on this podcast juggernaut as early as possible? Follow us on Twitter, @thetrailerspod, and you'll be the first to know when the show has officially gone live. You won't regret it! XOXO

Direct download: 142._Preview_-_At_the_Trailers.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:51am EDT

Tyler Samples (Rabbit Hole: A Wikipedia Podcast / The tl;dm Podcast) only had access to ABC as a child, so his television diet consisted entirely of nothing but TGIF programming. He's seen 'em all, my puppies, and that includes "Claire and Present Danger". What's it about? It's about Claire. Well, no, it's not really about Claire. It's about how Claire dating Danny affects Michelle's position in the childhood peking order, and she's not about to have that disrupted. "Oh-uh! I do not think so!" She's livid.

Meanwhile, Jesse is trying to make good at a "sold-out" Smash Club performance, but Viper's troubles with DJ may end his comeback before it can even begin. My God, the stakes. The delicious, sizzling steaks! We also make time to discuss a new bottom shelf board game and track the shirtless career of a young, promising actor by the name of Keanu Reeves. This is some good shit!

Don't forget, we're aiming for 100 reviews in the iTunes Store before we record our series finale, and at this point we're so close, you guys. So close we can taste it on our pink little tongues. Get us over that hump, me lovelies! XOXO

Direct download: 141._Claire_and_Present_Danger.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:03am EDT

The boys are back and they're bearin' the books once more for a boo-tiful bonus ep, my bonnie babes! Jon kicks things off with a report on "Truth or Dare", the first in a Club Stephanie trilogy in which the middle Tanner sister finds herself caught between romance and professional aspirations while at Camp Sailaway. Can she achieve her CIT dreams and capture the hearts of a lovely, luscious, oh so lickity-splickity Luke? Jon will never know because again, this is the first entry in a trilogy, and he's never going to read the other two. Oh well! Then Brandon caps the day off with a report on "Problems in Paradise", in which Michelle is haunted by THE CURSE OF THE GREEN LAGOON and Stephanie once again falls ass backwards into the lap of luxury while visiting sunny Hawaii. These books are dumb. Want us to read more? Let us know? 

And remember, we're shooting for 100 iTunes reviews by the time we get to our series finale, so if you haven't taken the time to visit the iTunes Store and leave your thoughts, we need you now more than ever. More than ever! XOXO

Direct download: 140._Truth_or_Dare_and_Problems_in_Paradise.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:23am EDT