How Rude! The Full House Podcast

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May 2016
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Syndication

Casey Sapphire (aka Eddie Klinker) joins us for a third time to help cover the utterly disgusting and not at all funny 'Full Holes'. The women seem troubled, the men are possible sex criminals, and we are largely clueless as to the so-called parody's intended audience. In other news, Brandon and Eddie are making a lot of progress with their Looney Tunes XXX project and Jon discovers the porn role he was meant to play, whether he likes it or not. Uh! Uhhh! UH! UHHH! XOXO

Direct download: 100._Full_Holes.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:51am EDT

Libby Schreiner is back and with her return we can finally put S5 in the ground. Pick up a shovel, get yourself a good scoop a dirt, and say goodbye. Thank you, Libby, thank you for setting us free. And thank you, Marvin, for being a fuzzy little dog pal who kept us sane during our screening of the following six episodes: Yours, Mine and Ours; The Trouble with Danny; Five's a Crowd; Girls Will Be Boys, and both parts of Captain Video. Highlights? Oh, we got highlights for ya. How about a deconstruction of Brandon's intimate seduction techniques? Or perhaps a window into Brandon's taste as he talks about his love for Big Dog parody shirts? If you're only here for sitcom shop talk, we would recommend a conversation toddlers have about superheroes ... a conversation we are STILL HUMORING in 2016. Can girls be superheroes? Can girls do anything without having garbage dumped on them? Maybe. Maybe! XOXO

Direct download: 99._Libby_Marathon.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:13am EDT

Johnny Kyle Cook and Brandon Shockney agree: Jon touches his face way too Goddamn much. Are they right? Are they wrong? Perhaps we'll never know! What we do know is Johnny has returned to help us burn through YET ANOTHER five episodes of the classic (?) sitcom's fifth season. Those episodes: Crushed; Spellbound; Too Much Monkey Business; The Devil Made Me Do It, and Driving Miss D.J. There's a lot to unpack here, including appearances by singer Tommy Page and a straight up fucking monkey. Did the monkey send Jon down a conspiratorial rabbit hole worthy of JFK? Yes. Is Brandon's favorite off-brand soda going to surprise and disturb you? Yes. You know, you ask too many questions, maybe stop ASKING and start LISTENING. XOXO

Direct download: 98._Johnny_Marathon.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:01am EDT

Marie Maloney had no idea pushing through five episodes of 'Full House' would be this difficult. By the time we were done ... man alive. We were positively slap happy! Join us for this, the third of our S5 marathons, a journey that takes us through Nick and/or Alexander; Bachelor of the Month; Easy Rider; Sisters in Crime, and Play It Again, Jesse. Consistent themes appear throughout this chunk of programming: Women are emotionally hysterical, Michelle is a self-obsessed little shit, and you should always sacrifice your needs for the needs of the hive mind. OBEY THE WILL OF THE HIVE MIND. Tuck in with a piping hot serving of pork and beans in a white wine sauce because Brandon has made up a terrible new game and you're gonna learn all about it. He also creates a new movie franchise and it's not awful but it is basically inexplicable. XOXO

Direct download: 97._Marie_Marathon.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:27am EDT

The fucking straight up adorable Nico Carter is BACK for the second of our S5 marathons! This week we watched The Legend of Ranger Joe; The Volunteer; Gotta Dance, and both parts of Happy Birthday, Babies. Guys, this is getting tough. We are burning through so much content and it's probably going to kill us in the end. Luckily, Nico brought us free Cards Against Humanities expansion packs (he works for the company, don't ya know) and he was wearing a ridiculous onesie throughout our entire session. What more could you want? Maybe you'd like to hear about his fluid sexuality in the face of crushing boredom, or perhaps the French stage farce / film / musical / caveplay that inspired Happy Birthday, Babies? Perhaps you'd like to hear Jon recite an entire Fruity Pebbles commercial almost perfectly from memory? Look, whatever you want, we got it, baby. Dig in! XOXO

Direct download: 96._Nico_Marathon.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:04am EDT

Joey Gilmore is BACK and that can only mean one thing: That's right, it's marathon time once again! We're actually covering S5 of 'Full House' exclusively via marathons, so we hope you're ready for the return of many an old friend. It'll be a blast and we'll save so much sweet, sweet time. We only have so much time allotted to us by God, fair children. Do you hear the ticking of the clock? Anyway, we covered five episodes this week: Double Trouble; Matchmaker Michelle; Take My Sister, Please; Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Girl Gone?, and The King and I. They were all terrible. But Joey is great! We learn all about his seven year stint in a youth bowling league and how even his youngest brother was all too willing to torture him while he slept. We also talk about casting off dog slave names and how John Stamos could potentially find his way into the MCU. You know, cool stuff. Total cool kid material. We love ya, Joey! XOXO

Direct download: 95._Joey_Marathon.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:46am EDT

Cole Hersch knows what it means to compete with a younger brother. Cole Hersch knows what it means to covet that which you loved so dearly in the past. Cole Hersch knows what you should and should not do to a vagina. He is also our guest and honorary Rude Dude for the week! Join us as we discuss the last two episodes of 'Fuller House' S1: 'Save the Dates', in which the show aggressively doubles down on the nostalgia, and 'Love Is in the Air', in which DJ and Kimmy are faced with important choices and refuse to address them in any real way for the sake of maintaining the status quo. It's a thoroughly unsatisfying way to end a season that at times tried (albeit feebly) to do its own thing. Bummer! Meanwhile, Brandon is planning to produce a fully staged musical all for the sake of proposing to his future love. Is it Jon? Is he proposing to Jon? Manic Bron stans wanna know! Next week we'll be returning to the classic (?) series so don't think we're slowing down anytime soon. Ciao! XOXO

Correction: Cole's Twitter handle is actually @ColesTwitt3r and he's hilarious.

Direct download: 94._Dates_and_Love.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:39am EDT

Robyn Novak is snug in her cocoon-like blanket, passing those snacks around like they're going out of style. She knows what she wants in a man and this world cannot stop her! Who better than Robyn to help examine "A Giant Leap", in which Stephanie faces the ire of disgusting baseball fans, and "Partnerships in the Night", in which the entire Fuller clan co-opts Indian culture for their amusement? No one, that's who, and if you disagree perhaps we can bring Dick Tracy into the mix. What's that? You don't wanna fuck with Dick Tracy? Smart move. Also on the menu: Brandon's sexualization of a golden fork, Russian nesting dolls, and problematic college parties. It's all here! XOXO

Direct download: 93._Giant_Leap_and_Partnerships.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:39am EDT

Carol Olsen's left foot is cursed and she earnestly believes all baby animals outrank human babies in the cuteness department. In this post-9/11 world can we afford to think any differently? Carol joined us to discuss "Secrets, Lies and Firetrucks" and "War of the Roses". The former sees Max using the ghost of his dead Dad to secure bragging rights at a birthday party. The latter sees a frothing Becky trying to solve the mystery of 1,000 roses and to whom they belong. What do roses cost in this post-9/11 society? Are spiders animals? Why can't Brandon pronounce "Jumanji"? Look, sometimes this post-9/11 society can't give you answers. But we're here and we're gonna learn all about Carol's tenuous connection to the Olsen twins, so let's enjoy that! XOXO

Direct download: 92._Firetrucks_and_Roses.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:24am EDT

Emma Robertson is a staunch defender of 'Mrs. Doubtfire' and believes that anyone who can accept a film like 'Superman' shouldn't disrespect Robin Williams' greatest achievement. And hey, creepy bar patrons? Why don't you keep your insipid questions and compliments to yourself? Try that for a change, dumdums! Emma joins us in the studio to discuss both The Legend of El Explosivo and Ramona's Not-So-Epic Party. In the former, Max and Jackson get into all kinds of shenanigans during a Mexican wrestling match. n the latter, Ramona turns 13 and everyone is failing in the love department. Also on deck: Emma's personal experience with Mexican wrestling, Aladdin on ice, and dealing with leather-faced scarecrow drunks. It's a hoot from start to finish so tuck in with a mug of room temp cake soup and hit play already! XOXO

Direct download: 91._Legend_and_Party.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 8:43am EDT