How Rude! The Full House Podcast

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August 2016
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Syndication

Lilliana Winkworth showed up for the podcast wearing a fabulous loofah costume and she is not apologizing for it because it is 2016, baby! Join us as we review "Designing Mothers", in which Danny must once again tackle his fear of change and the Rush Hour Renegades fear for the soul of rock and roll. Will a new woman in Danny's life ruin his chances for happiness? Will a new woman in the lives of the Renegades ruin their chances for happiness? Do women just ruin shit all of the time, is that what we're supposed to fucking get from this? In other news: Snow globes, Sondheim, and a sexy new woman in Brandon's life might be ruining his chances for happiness. It's a brand spanking new episode of How Rude!, baby, so let's get down to it! XOXO

Direct download: 111._Designing_Mothers.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:05am EDT

Greg Yates braved the insanity that is Chicago's Market Days celebration so he could record our 110th episode and for that we thank him. We thank you, dear Greg, for sitting with us and watching "I'm Not D.J.", in which Topanga and Brace Face (AKA "the Jennifers") pressure poor Stephanie into getting her ears pierced. Is she ready? Should she have placed her trust in Kimmy, a girl who is only trying to help but is consistently demonized by everyone around her? Perhaps only Stephanie can answer these questions. She is an individual, after all! Oh, but back to the gratitude: Thank you, Greg, for enduring the scene at Uncle Jasper's Kiddie Kuts, otherwise known as the Well of Infinite Nightmares. And thank you, Greg, for telling us about your retainer mendacity and the worst haircut he ever received. We love you, Greg! XOXO

Direct download: 110._Im_Not_D.J..m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:24am EDT

We learn a lot in this episode: We learn that the childhood fears of honorary Rude Dude, Gabi Moloney, were more than justified when you look at the terrifying evidence. We learn that doing 'shrooms in the forest comes with some basic safety rules you can't afford to ignore. We learn how Emma is a total butt. And we learn that Jon should never be the editor for a sleazy tabloid mag. But more than anything we learn that Michelle has lost her grip on the power she once wielded so effortlessly, all because a Norwegian Goat Boy and the Mutt Man are freaking her shit out on a daily basis. Can she spot a ray of hope in the form of her Uncle Joey, a man who has been terrorized by a closeted homosexual since his college days? We'll learn the answer to that question as well. Learning. Is. Fun. Duh. MENTAL, BABY. XOXO

Direct download: 109._Nice_Guys_Finish_First.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:29am EDT

TJ King could not be more relaxed. With his authentic Japanese fan he is able to cool himself with minimal effort, and he has the sort of confidence one needs when you're a turtle who learns how to fly. He's got that X-factor, baby, and you can't teach that shit! Join TJ and your lovable co-hosts as we dive into "The Play's the Thing", in which an amazing young man named Derek destroys Michelle's world with the kind of talent she'll never possess. EVER. In other news, Danny is fucking with Becky's routine and Steve is being a whiny little prick. We debate the merits of Popeye's versus KFC, envision a better, more honest play for kids called America: The Real Shit, and come to realize that TJ is our second guest to confuse Dave Coulier with Jeff Daniels. LOOK! HERE COMES THAT YANKEE DOODLE BOY. XOXO

Direct download: 108._The_Plays_the_Thing_Final.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 6:59am EDT

Matt Kidd faced the scorching summer heat to tell us all about his foul-mouthed grandmother, gossip-loving mother, and appreciation for twins with bountiful bottoms. Speaking of twins: Twins! There are way too many twins in "Trouble in Twin Town". There are also way too many fucking plots! Becky's snooty cousins are in town for the local twin expo and Jesse is determined to slap the silver spoons that are currently in their mouths so he can make them eat crow. Eat crow, you slob-hating snobs! Stephanie is pulling a "get smooched quick" scheme on a pair of mouth-breathing dum-dums. Be yourself, you thirsty queen! Danny is worried about Vicky's latest foray into the locker room of the Chicago Bears. She's getting fucked, dude, make your peace with it! Finally, Michelle is watching her distant relatives pretend to play Sega Game Gears. If you're so rich, buy a fucking cartridge, you Stephen King wannabes! Also: Jon tells an unsettling story about a friendly man's house and Brandon has an idea for a new video game. XOXO

Direct download: 107._Trouble_in_Twin_Town.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:11am EDT

Alex Marianyi is a man who stands on his own two feet. Alex Marianyi is trying to take your dinnertime prayers seriously. Alex Marianyi loves your fried hair and doesn't want you to change. He is also our honorary Rude Dude for the week, which means he had to sit through and help us dissect "Educating Jesse". That's right, Jesse is going back to school after revealing a secret that completely undermines everything we've heard about him in the past. It's a laughably stupid retcon ... but what are ya gonna do? At least it allows us to cut away from the Michelle plot, which is all about tying Goddamn shoes. Oh, be still, my heart! Also: Everyone gets confused by Joey's Star Trek impression and no one seems to know if a "chocolate Twinkie" is known as a Ho Ho or a Ding Dong (spoiler: It's a Ho Ho). We hope you enjoy this week's offering, but just know that no one will find Jon funnier than Jon himself. XOXO

Direct download: 106._Educating_Jesse.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:28am EDT

Phoebe Stonebraker is a modern farmer with a passion for rollerblading and slut wave music. She's also our honorary Rude Dude for the week as we return from our holiday break. What's happening with the Tanner clan this time around? Well, for starters, DJ and Steve are in mother fucking LOVE, baby, and there's nothing the patriarchy can do to stop them from kissing like two hesitant mannequins. Vicky's flown in from Chicago and Danny will have to put up or shut up in the feelings department. Coming in dead last is the Joey and Jesse plot, in which the former must carry the dead weight of the latter as they tape the first session of their new radio show. Is it bad? Yes. Is it as bad as some of the episodes we've reviewed as of late? No, but that's not saying much. Are you happy to have us back in your lives? Of course! Let us know that by penning a five star review in the iTunes Store. PROVE YOUR LOVE TO US. XOXO

Direct download: 105._Lovers_and_Other_Tanners.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:18am EDT

Jacob Eugene Horn joined us just as the summer heat ramped up and reduced us to little more than slaphappy goons. It's that time of year, folks, so strap in! We learn all about Jacob's siblings and their ghost story terror tactics. We also get a breakdown of his entire history with bands, most of which sported truly dreadful names. But ya know what we also talk about? A stupid. Little show. Called. 'Full House'. This week it's "Radio Days", in which Jesse's dashed dreams of superstardom in Asia are replaced by a desperate need to work at some two bit FM station, Stephanie pens salacious stories about her sibling's love life, and Edie McClurg stops by to effectively ruin poor Joey's life. Additional topics: Single White Dagwood, Jesse in the Magic Boarding School of Mysterious Sex Times, and the slap heard 'round the world.

P.S. We're taking the week of July 4 off! Love you! XOXO

Direct download: 104._Radio_Days.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:25am EDT

Jyreika Guest may have had a "come to Jesus" moment while watching this week's episode, "Road to Tokyo". The scales may have fallen from her eyes and what was once must-see TV now may seem just a tad ridiculous. Maybe. Spoiler: Definitely. Join us and the Tanner family as we take a journey to the other side of the world and bear witness to Jesse's fall from grace. The B-Plot Department is working overtime as Stephanie breathlessly awaits a call from a dummy, Michelle digs her way to Tokyo, Joey actively tries to bug the shit out of Danny, and DJ attempts to thwart the political aspirations of her one and only friend. WAY TOO MUCH IS GOING ON. We'll also learn about Jyreika's first grade school crush and how he's doing in 2016. It's all great! And you're great too! XOXO

Direct download: 103._Road_to_Tokyo.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:24am EDT

I heard Clayton Margeson of the Talking Games podcast joined us this week. Is this a false assertion? Nah dude. Join us as we kick around "The Long Goodbye", in which everyone is dealing with some sort of separation anxiety. Danny and Vicky are worlds apart and their genitals are suffering for it. The distance between Jesse and his children grows as he continues to make them "men". Finally, Michelle and Teddy's friendship is being threatened ... and one of them will do whatever it takes to keep it intact. Whatever. It fucking. TAKES. Also: Brandon is demanding more from our modern bubble technology when he's not calling Jon's masculinity into question. It's yet another rock solid bit a podcasting goodness, so head on over to the iTunes Store and leave us a five star review! XOXO

Direct download: 102._The_Long_Goodbye.m4a
Category:Comedy -- posted at: 7:21am EDT